Happiness is a choice, right? Well, according to psychology, it’s not quite that simple.
There are certain habits that can trap us in a cycle of discontent, despite our best intentions. It’s not necessarily about what we’re doing wrong, but rather what we’re doing too much.
These are the daily habits of people who, unfortunately, will never truly find happiness if they continue on as they are.
Here are 8 of these habits – the ones that have the power to keep you from ever really feeling happy. And remember, being aware is the first step towards change.
1) Overthinking
Ever found yourself stuck in an endless loop of negative thoughts? Welcome to the world of overthinking.
This is a common habit among those who struggle to find happiness, according to research. It’s like being trapped in your own mind, with every worry, doubt, and fear amplified.
Overthinkers often dwell on the past or stress about the future, but rarely live in the present. They spend so much time analyzing and dissecting every detail that they miss out on the joy of the moment.
The problem with overthinking is that it often leads to anxiety and stress. It makes small problems seem larger than they really are and can even create problems where there weren’t any before.
Facing this habit head-on is a critical step towards finding true happiness. So if you’re an overthinker, remember that not every thought needs to be followed to its conclusion. Sometimes, it’s better to just let go.
2) Comparison
I’ll be the first to admit it – I’ve fallen into the comparison trap. It’s all too easy in this age of social media where everyone’s best moments are on display.
I remember scrolling through my feed and seeing a friend’s post about their new job. It was an amazing opportunity, one that seemed much more impressive than my current role. Suddenly, I felt inadequate, like I wasn’t doing enough or achieving enough.
That’s the danger of comparison. It can easily breed feelings of resentment and inadequacy, making it hard for us to truly be happy with what we have.
Psychologists warn that constant comparison is a surefire way to unhappiness. Instead, we should focus on our own progress and celebrate our achievements, however small they may seem. After all, happiness is a personal journey, not a competition.
3) Neglecting self-care
Did you know that a lack of self-care can lead to a variety of physical and mental health issues, including depression and heart disease? Despite this, many people tend to put their own needs on the back burner.
Those who neglect self-care often prioritize the needs of others over their own. They may skip meals, forfeit sleep, or even ignore signs of illness until they’re too ill to ignore.
This habit can make it nearly impossible to find true happiness. If we don’t take care of our own physical and mental well-being, it becomes harder to engage in the activities we enjoy or to maintain positive relationships.
Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for your happiness.
4) Attachment to outcomes
Buddhism teaches us about the impermanence of life and the dangers of clinging to outcomes. It emphasizes that happiness lies not in achieving specific goals, but in the journey itself.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into this concept. There’s a whole chapter dedicated to understanding how our attachment to results can often lead us away from happiness, rather than towards it.
In a sense, when we become overly focused on a particular outcome, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Life is unpredictable and despite our best efforts, things don’t always go as planned.
Those who can’t let go of their attachment to specific outcomes tend to live in a constant state of anxiety and stress. They’re never truly happy because they’re always chasing the next big thing, the next achievement, the next milestone.
By learning to detach from specific outcomes and appreciating the journey instead, we can find more peace and happiness in our daily lives. You’ll find more about this and other Buddhist teachings in my book. It’s a great resource for anyone looking to live with more mindfulness and less ego.
5) Dwelling on the past
A few years ago, I made a mistake that cost me a good friendship. For a long time, I couldn’t let it go. I replayed the situation in my mind over and over, wishing I could go back and change things.
This habit of dwelling on the past can be a significant barrier to happiness. The past is done and can’t be changed, no matter how much we wish it could be. Living in the past means missing out on the present and all the opportunities it holds.
Happiness lies in accepting our past mistakes and learning from them, not in replaying them endlessly in our minds. We need to forgive ourselves for our past errors and move forward. Only then can we free ourselves from the chains of the past and find true happiness.
6) Striving for perfection
You might think that striving for perfection would lead to happiness. After all, wouldn’t achieving the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect relationship make us happy?
Counterintuitively, the pursuit of perfection often leads to the exact opposite. Perfection is an unattainable standard. By setting our sights on it, we’re setting ourselves up for a lifetime of dissatisfaction and disappointment.
Those who constantly strive for perfection tend to be overly critical of themselves and others. They’re never truly happy because nothing ever meets their unrealistic expectations.
Real happiness comes from accepting that we are all beautifully flawed. It’s about embracing our imperfections and finding joy in our unique quirks and idiosyncrasies. So forget about being perfect. Be real instead. That’s where true happiness lies.
7) Avoiding discomfort
Life is full of uncomfortable moments. It’s tempting to avoid these situations, but doing so can actually keep us from being truly happy.
Each time we sidestep discomfort, we miss an opportunity for growth. We avoid difficult conversations, challenging tasks, and new experiences because they make us uncomfortable. Yet, it’s in these moments that we learn the most about ourselves and the world around us.
Those who constantly avoid discomfort often find themselves stuck in a rut. They’re never truly happy because they’re not pushing their boundaries or expanding their horizons.
Facing discomfort head-on can lead to personal growth and greater happiness. So next time you’re facing an uncomfortable situation, remember: It’s an opportunity for growth. Embrace it.
8) Ignoring gratitude
The most significant habit that keeps people from finding true happiness is ignoring gratitude. Despite the ups and downs, there’s always something to be grateful for.
Those who don’t practice gratitude often focus on what they lack, rather than appreciating what they have. This mindset can create a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction.
By recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives, we shift our focus from scarcity to abundance. This simple act of gratitude can dramatically increase our happiness levels. So take a moment each day to acknowledge what you’re grateful for. It’s a game-changer for happiness.
Final thoughts: It’s about awareness and change
Understanding human behavior and the path to happiness is a complex journey, often intertwined with our daily habits.
These habits can quietly shape our lives, nudging us towards either contentment or discontent, often without us even realizing it. But being aware of these habits is a significant first step towards change.
